Met with Rev. Kendell

Hello all,

First and foremost I want to thank Rev. Kendell Waller for his time and patience he granted me last night. Kendall was nice enough to meet and provide counsel for me as I grieve the loss of my father. During our session, we talked about the days proceeding dad's passing as well as the days that have followed. The conversation covered the grief process and the many stages of grief: denial, anger, depression, acceptance and recovery.

As a logical guy, I immediately thought that this process was linier. Once I have passed denial, I would never have to deal with that emotion again. I wish it was that simple. The process is dynamic. I will regress from time to time. I think I am currently in the anger phase. I’m angry that dad is gone. I’m angry that this disease has taken away my best friend. A friend that I had plans with. We had golf outings and baseball games in our future. We were going to teach Ali and Zac to play basketball and teach them the art of the pick-and-roll. We were going to cheer the Chiefs to many more wins and toast the superior play of our team. We were going to do a lot of things… I was going to be able to call him and get his advice on what I should do when Ali wants to go on her first date.

You see, I had a lot of plans that will never be finished now. It’s like only getting to read half of a really good book and losing it forever. Now I have to finish the book without him – which is the really hard part.

One of the strongest pieces of advice Rev. Kendell gave me last night was that my mind will only give me as much grief as I can handle at one time. That was very reassuring to me. I have to remember my dad’s instructions: be a good husband to Jen and a good father to Ali and Zac. Everything else will fall into place in time.

-Andy