Church

Hello all,

Tonight's small group topic was about how God works through tragedy. One of the examples given was a man who lost his 18 month old child due to an accident at home. The child was crushed by his vehicle while he was moving it in the driveway. The question was: "How does this make any sense?" What is God's plan? Why did they take his daughter at such a young age? It was a tough message to hear.

That was the seed for the discussion group. It was shared how God takes everyone sooner or later. It is a tragedy when the person is young, but a blessing when they are older and frail.

Jennifer shared our story of how Ali was born not breathing and how much she struggled in her first years of life. She battled chronic respiratory issues that put a tremendous burden on our family and marriage. Was Ali's struggles there to test us? To say "If you want this, you are going to have to fight for it?" Is that right? Why would God want to test us over and over again? Why would God want to condition us to listen for Ali's coughs and pray she keeps coughing so we know she is breathing? On nights that she slept well, we didn't. We were too afraid to sleep deeply. Either Jennifer or I would get up just to peak our head into her room to listen to her sleep. It was stressful. I'm sure that period of time was the foundation for my graying hair today.

Now you see Ali and she is a bright, inquisitive young lady who on most days is very nice to her brother. Was THAT the lesson we were suppose to get out of her illnesses? That good things can come from struggles? In my mind I often go back to that December morning in 2000 when Ali was born not breathing. I heard the doctor say "Baby's out, get her resuscitated!" That was the longest few minutes of my life standing on the brown square outside of the ER room. Many of you know this, but I still have the blue shirt that I was wearing that day. I wore it the day Zac was born, too. I also wore it when we visited Nicole and Kirk when Dade was born. I don't know if it my lucky shirt, but it will always be hanging in my closet. If you still have the pictures one of the pictures from Ali in the hospital, you will see a blue backdrop in the background. That is the shirt.

Back to my point: If Ali's health issues were the strain that gave us room to grow spiritually, was my father's illness and passing another "opportunity" for God to make me trust him more? What was the point of taking him so early? I was only 30. Dad should still be here and watching his grandkids grow up. He should have been able to see Ali's first basketball game. Ali is getting to the age where she is asking questions like: "I miss Grandpa. I wish he didn't die and go to Heaven. Why did God take him anyway?"

I don't have a good answer to that question. I'll keep reading and trying to understand. These are just some of the ideas that make me ask more questions.

Good night,

-Andy