Hello all,
I had a great conversation with my sister Danna last night. I called to check in and see how she was doing. After a few minutes of chat about the what my kids were doing and what she and Kevin were up to, I asked her this question:
What is your favorite memory of dad?
Silence fell on the line, but soon Danna began to speak eloquently about our father. Her memory provided a perfect picture of our dad. You see, my dad was not a flashy guy. He was thoughtful and rarely spoke just to hear himself speak. Here is one of Danna's memories.
It would have to be during summer softball. I was either playing right field or left field and would be warming up in the outfield before the game started. Dad would park the car by the Todd House and start slowly walking toward the bleacher, fingers in his pockets. He would not make eye contact, but I knew that he saw me. Now the game could start because dad was here.
You see, dad was never a flashy guy. He was a constant in our lives, but he let us make our own decisions. If you asked him his opinion on a matter, he would think about it for a while as you worked it out. If a decision had not been made yet, he may give you a call later the next day and let you know that he had been thinking about your situation and had this thought to run by you. His words were never sharp or directive, but gentle and suggestive. He left it up to you to make up your own mind. He was the best counselor I could have ever wanted.
You know, I was in the Czech Republic in 1994 as an exchange student. I left in August and came home on December 23rd. I would call home and chat from time to time, but it was expensive so I always tried to keep it brief. One night in Krakow, Poland, I decidied I was going to call dad at the bank. It was December and I was trying to decide on what to get mom for a Christmas present. It was almost midnight, so subtract seven hours and it would almost be quitting time in Randolph. Let's call dad at the Bank! So I called the 800 number from the lobby of the hostel we were staying at.
When Ann at the bank answered the phone I am sure she was shocked! I asked if I could talk to my dad for a minute. Out of habit she said yes and put me on hold. Soon the sound of my dad's voice came over the line. There was a little delay between us, but I could hear the excitement in his voice. I tried to hurry the conversation along only to pause long enough to listen for his responses from my previous question for I knew that this call was on the banks dime. After a minute, I let dad know that I should let him go. I didn't want him to get in trouble for raising the banks phone bill. Dad's response was classic dad. After a quick "hmmm" he said "It will be alright. What have you been up to today?"
After that, I leaned into the lobby's desk and turned my back to look outside and watch it snow and listen to the sound of home. I can't recall what we talked about after that, but I can recall the smile on my face. The two nice ladies behind the desk watched me and smiled as dad and I continued our conversation. Upon the conclusion of the call, one of the attendants asked me who was I talking to? I replied in my best Polish. That was my dad.
With a smile on my face and a hop to my step, I climbed the stairs back to my room that night. Before I called him, my gas tank was empty. I was missing home and everything that was associated with it. After the call, I felt like I could make it through. Why? I don't know really. It wasn't from something that he said, but more in how he said it. Dad just had a way to make everything all right.
I am sure that I will continue to have reflections like this as each day passes. Each entry is helping me grieve the loss of my role model. I know there will never be another one like him. I only hope that I can come close to being like him. If I do that, I have achieved a lot.
-Andy
